Writer. Reader. Human. Managing editor of Forge LitMag. Winner of the Excellence in Prison Libraries Award.
I was shocked to read today that 2 women are killed each week in the UK by their partner, or ex partner. TWO A WEEK!
Every minute in the UK the police receive a call for assistance for domestic violence. EVERY MINUTE! This despite the fact that less than half of all incidents remain unreported.
For help, advice, and details on what can be done, please go to Women’s Aid
Firstly, this was bitchy, I acknowledge that, but y’know, this is my blog, and if I wanna bitch you really don’t have to read it if you don’t like it. And, it was meant to be funny too, like when you go, oh yeah, man, I know someone like that…so thanks to those of you who sent your own writer types.
Kellie reminded me that there is also “the inept, attention-seeking, lunatic.” and yes, how could I have forgotten. kellie and I suffered from ‘meeting’ a woman who was very good at delivering hype, but who couldn’t actually write. Eeep.
And Vanessa has generously given us three:
“the one who asks you what you’ll be doing at your forthcoming workshop on opening up creativity, flash fiction, etc…says ‘Wow, what a brilliant workshop!” then books a country house and puts on an identical course costing punters four times as much….
and
the one who moans about other writers not sharing contacts, market info, comp info… and never swaps any info themselves…
and another(!)
the one who says ‘you won what? Oh THAT comp. I didn’t enter myself… forgot…’ (course of they had… they’d have won, right?)”
Vanessa, ohmygod! The first is just too awful!!! The second, urgh, the third, ARGH! Plain and simple!
Thanks for sharing!
The internet is a wonderful thing. It wasn’t that long ago that I had no computer and wrote only on paper. I didn’t know any other people who wanted to be writers, but I did write, gubbins and tosh, and knew that it wasn’t good enough for anything or anyone, so did nothing with it.
Then I got a pc, and dial up. A friend told me about Pulp Net, and I subbed some stuff to them. Hurray!
I now have a MacBook ♥ and Broadband. I “know” writers that I have met online. Vanessa Gebbie introduced me to her online writers forum, I have found writers through blogging, other writers have contacted me, I have contacted them, I have “met” some cool bananas in Zoetrope, “know” some super cool people from America, India, Israel, U.K. I have met other writers in person. It is fabulous to talk writing, get support and understanding, share knowledge and information.
BUT
You know, I am getting a bit fucked off with people schmoozing because they think I can do something for them. I understand that people suck arse, but really, no matter how cynical I get I still seem to assume that basically all people are good, and all people will treat others as they would wish to be treated themselves. Sigh. So, yeah, anyway:
Writer types I have encountered.
1) The hello-I’m-a-writer-too-let’s-meet-up-for-coffee-oh-I-have-a-book-out-any-day-now-and-you-work-in-a-huge-bookshop-that-won’t-be-stocking-my-book-unless-oh-would-you-could-you-that’s-so-great/so-shitty-you’ll-never-hear-from-me-again person
2) Oh, you write so well, I do like you so much, can I help you at all? Maybe we could swap work? You review for Pulp Net, WBQ and The Short Review don’t you? Oh…well…maybe…?
3) I will suck you dry of every bit of writing knowledge that you have learned, and then I will move on to someone fresh for I am vampire writer here to feed.
4) I am a writer who knows how it can sting and be lonely, and I will sympathise and empathise and encourage. I will ask for nothing in return.
5) I hate to ask, but is there any chance you could…?
You are so helpful, dependable, ace.
(Repeat over and over.)
6) I am very cool. Who are you again? What is it you want?
7)
(By the way, 7 was the writer who doesn’t even do you the basic courtesy of replying to you)
8) Ah, writers, yes, we’re all nuts aren’t we? Bonkers! Ha ha ha. Crazy whacky! Ha ha…(EEEEEEEK!)
More when I think of them. I think this may be the first in an occasional series!
9) Women Rule Writer has come up with a hum dinger of a number 9:
Oooh, what about the ‘Little Old Me’ writers? They assume a position of great innocence about their talent, then let you do all their PR for them, while skimming off the cream of your ideas, contacts etc. Do I sound like I’ve been stung? I have. Twice! Argh!
I know someone just like that, my sympathy WRW.
When a customer asks for John Carrawack I should know they mean Jack Kerouac right?
And Margaret Stoppard is of course Miriam. Tori turned out to be Torey. Sink is Schlink.
I couldn’t think who the reclusive Irish woman who died was, but I did know “The kite book”, “Something with a sun in the title”, “The diary of Miss Jones”, “the Indian woman who wrote a novel that is a film” and lots more.
Sheez, another super sleuth Saturday in the bookstore.
Why is it ok to say “Don’t contact us to see where we’re at with your sub until after 4 months – then feel free to query if we have misplaced it.”
What the fuck is that about?
It’s like saying, send in your writing, we may or may not read it, don’t dare bug us though until 4 months have passed. And y’know, this is a non-paying online deal. Grr.
Anyway, via Matt Bell’s blog I read this post by Blake Butler:
If you have a journal already, respond faster. Pay attention to your inbox. When someone asks a question that feels dumb or unnecessary maybe, answer it anyway. Don’t be a fuck. Yeah, we’re all busy. Yeah, things take time. Work to take less time. It’s okay to move forward at a wicked pace. (And yes, as an editor, I too struggle to adhere to this advice, but I struggle at least, everyone struggles, but you can always struggle more. I am so tired of seeing journals with 200+ days response time, why do you even exist? Does it really take that long to like something? People should stop sending to these places. Seriously. Just stop sending.
Yeah I know the flood comes strong. Stand in the flood. (Me too.))
Seriously, Conjunctions/Ninth Letter/Subtropics: these 3 journals get just as much work coming in as anybody, and they all respond often in less than a month.
To everyone: Push the fucking envelope even harder than you do. Be an open node.
BE AN OPEN NODE.
I am amazed sometimes by people who want to be writers and yet seem to know little to nothing about even the more popular journals, who don’t read that actively, who don’t buy literary magazines hardly ever but send out their own work constantly, who don’t buy even their friends work, who etc etc. Then they want to turn around and call anyone with any stripe of ‘success’ a ‘secret handshake motherfucker’ or ‘in crowd’ or anything like that.
There are people who don’t even answer their emails when they get those ‘I like your work’ mails, which really blows my mind some. You’re just typing into a keyboard like the rest of us. Don’t be Richard Ford spitting on Colson Whitehead. Don’t be a turd person.
Getting involved is being involved, and if you aren’t actively promoting others, I don’t know why in hell you’d think anyone would ever want to read or support you.
I didn’t mean to get into ranting, I really didn’t, I had no specific person in mind when I thought of all that, but I know there are tons of writers out there who don’t do even a 100th of the amount of work spreading the word as they do trying to pimp their own stuff.
I am happy to know the people I do who do so much everyday.
And yet everyone (me included, I am above none of this, though I try) can do more, and if you want to BE more yourself, you SHOULD, even if its just something tiny like a mention of work you liked, or an email, or an idea, or looking, talking, thinking, shitting, causing trouble, laughing, responding.
How cool is that? And yeah, I do try to say whoo, I liked this or that, and I do buy small lit mags, review books I read, link to peeps, but I could do more, much more, I could get more involved, absolutely.
Regular readers will know that I’m a massive fan of Janice Galloway. She is such an amazing writer, and forms one part of the writers-I-aspire-to-and-worship-and-sadly-will-never-be-as-good-as-but-oh-how-they-make-me-hope-trio (Lorrie Moore and Ali Smith are the other two). So I was very excited to hear that she has a memoir coming out in September. A new Galloway publication is cause for happy feelings. BUT GUESS WHAT?
Go on, guess?
We have arranged for her to come to the Brighton branch of Waterstones!
Whooooo hoooooo.
I so want this event to be a success, and urge any people in the area to buy a ticket now!
Isn’t it exciting!
By the way, back here I mentioned that I had ordered in copies of Galloway’s short story collection “Where you find it”, and written a review. I was pleased that we had sold 12 copies. We have sold 29 copies now!
Lovely, lovely Pulp Net are organising a fantastic event on 12th September at London Metropolitan University. The programme is packed full of writerly delights:
LitCamp
Programme
10.30-11.00
Arrival/Coffee/Intro/Sign-up for Evening Session/10-minute Zone
11.30am-1pm
The first page
Bridget Whelan offers a confidence-building session that allows you to discover the writer within. Imaginative exercises to help you to find inspiration in the ordinary, create characters that live and breathe and encourage you to take risks with your writing. (prose – all levels)
Getting inside the editor’s head
Rosalind Porter, senior editor with Granta magazine, Laura Barber of Portobello Books, and Tom Chalmers of Legend Press open the lid on publishing from the editor’s Point of view. Later in the session we hear from agent Hannah Westland of Rogers Coleridge & White about where she, as an agent, fits into that process. (fiction – advanced)
Finding, or inventing, the right place for your work
Dr Sarah Law, poet and tutor at London Metropolitan University, talks with Les Robinson, director of Tall Lighthouse Press, and poet Maggie Butt about innovative ways for young poets to drive their careers forward, including poetry in galleries. (poetry)
Buffet lunch provided. Time to meet and mingle, browse the book table, take part in the 10-minute Zone, or use the Writing Room – perhaps even draft a fresh piece for the Evening Session.
1.30-2.30pm
10-Minute Zone
A space for informal discussion on writing related topics of relevance to LitCampers. Signup on the day, or just show up. Speakers have 4 mins, then it’s open to the floor for debate, questions. Change of topic every 10 minutes. Runs at lunch /recesses, or whenever, for people seeking an interactive space. Powerpoint accommodated.
Writing Room
A quiet space open all day for a break, reading etc. Laptops may be used, internet access tbc.
2.30-3.30pm
From Wannabe to Published
Not every would-be writer successfully manages this transition, but Jane Wenham-Jones has done. The novelist, freelance journalist and non-fiction author has lots of very realistic tips to offer writers who are just starting out. (cross-genre)
DIY Book: a self-publisher’s story – Paul Ewen
Paul, whose short fiction book London Pub Reviews is stocked in indie bookshops across London, shares his experiences. This session covers the basic steps you must be prepared to go through if you choose the self-publish route. Come prepared to work hard! (short fiction)
“Paul Ewen is the funniest new writer I have read in years. Join him on his one man Campaign for Surreal Ale.” – Toby Litt
3.30-4.15pm
Poetry workshop with Sarah Law
An exercise based workshop designed to strengthen writing abilities for anyone new to poetry or needing fresh inspiration. Sarah Law has published two collections of poetry with Stride. Her third, Perihelion, is published by Shearsman Books. (poetry – all levels)
The short story path to success – Vanessa Gebbie
A writer who has won many awards for her stories and whose first short fiction collection Words From A Glass Bubble was recently published by Salt Books, Vanessa shares ideas on developing your writing strategy, the importance of networking, and whether to blog. (short fiction – all levels)
How to make a living while you write
Earn a living while you draft and revise your magnum opus. Bridget Whelan teaches at City Lit and Goldsmiths College, London. Her first novel A Good Confession is soon to be published by Severn House and she is also the author of a short book Make Money from Your Writing. (cross-genre)
4.15-5pm Coffee break + 10-minute Zone continues
5pm-5.45pm
Willesden Green Writers Group
The very first time that this group published a book of its members’ work, they won a prestigious award. Here to share practical methods for how to set up a successful writer-led group are Anne Mullane and Bilal Ghafoor who is editing their next book. (cross-genre)
The Last Page
Farahad Zama and Nicholas Hogg discuss the challenges of completing a first novel, and ways of managing plot to ensure the final cut is one that works for readers. Nicholas is the author of Show Me the Sky, and Farahad’s forthcoming novel The Marriage Bureau for Rich People will be published in 2009 by Little Brown. (novel)
Drinks reception sponsored by London Metropolitan University
The Evening Session
(6ish-8pm) Katy Darby (of Liars League) introduces an eclectic mix of writers drawn from LitCampers whose names we’ve yet to discover. Sign up early to get a spot. Also featuring: Paul Ewen, Jay Bernard, Farahad Zama, Vanessa Gebbie, Bridget Whelan, Anne Mullane, Nicholas Hogg, Maggie Butt, Bilal Ghafoor…
Tickets, inclusive of refreshments, cost £36 full price, or £27 for the early 25% off rate (quota-based). Places are limited, to ensure your place please complete sign-up.
Hope you noticed that friend of this blog Vanessa Gebbie will be sharing some of her wisdom on the day.
I felt fairly chipper yesterday. A couple of things happened that made me feel a bit happy. Writing related things that made me feel part of something, as if I’m not being delusional about wanting to be a writer. That’s one of my big fears, deluding myself. I try to be honest with myself, you know, pat on the back when I think I’ve done well, slap round the chops when I’m slacking off. When I was young everyone I knew was in a band. My best friend is an amazing singer, my husband is a mega talented drummer, my other buddies included the worlds greatest bass player, a lot of guitarists, some keyboardists, and a fair smattering of vocalists too. And I was always the audience. I never wanted to be up there on stage with them, always knew that writing was my thing. Lots of them were really talented. Others were tragic. Really, truly shit, but they thought they were awesome, strutting about bloated with self importance. I would look at them, and tell myself that I was never ever to start to think I was something I am not.
I still check myself now. Am I any good? I dunno. Sometimes I think yes, other times I’m very fragile and think I’m just another one of those foolish wannabes.
Anyway, last night, I was fairly whoo hoo. Then today I got a reject. I hate the whole subbing, hoping, judging process. When a piece is out it can be a wonderful time. It feels buzzy because I have been proactive enough to get off my fat butt and sub. There is hope in the air. Dreams. And an acceptance is a beautiful validating thing. It says, yes, you do have something, yes this is good. Then come the rejections. Sometimes they are nothing more than a moments disappointment. Sometimes they sting a little. The one I got today shook me though. The writing I sent is good. It has been judged highly in the past. It is my best. People have said very positive things about it. It didn’t even make a long shortlist. There weren’t that many entries, and it didn’t make the grade. I feel stupid, embarrassed, and to be truthful, I guess a tiny voice inside is asking if I am like one of those kids with my guitar, making a public fool of myself.
Jo Horsman is setting up a new Flash Fiction evening, “Sparks”, at Upstairs at Three and Ten in Brighton.
The very first event will take place on October 14th. I will be there, attempting to read a tiny flash that made me bawl when I wrote it, so lots of fun eh?
Jo is looking for submissions from people who are available to read on the night. She invites subs of 500 words or less, on any theme. Please send to :
jo horsman@hot mail.co.uk (remove the spaces)
for her consideration.
Or, if you wish to attend, tickets will be available from Other Place Productions nearer the time, at a cost of £5. Places are limited, as this very cool venue has a limited capacity of 46. (It is in a room above a good pub, and drinks can be taken into the venue. Hurray. I may need several!)
I know what my novel is. I have the synopsis, I know the story, know the main characters, I know the beginning, middle and end. But I have not been writing it. There is something that really intimidates me about attempting to sustain my fiction over the course of many thousands of words. In mad reversal I have been writing shorter fictions, and fretting.
BUT NO MORE!
In a genius move I have made a commitment with Jo Horsman to write 300 words a day. 300! Pah! That’s super easy. No more worrying about the novel, I am approaching it in tiny bite sized chunks. I will write at least 300 words a day for the duration of the summer holidays. I will not edit and frantically shine my prose, I will push on in baby steps. When the twins go back to school in September I will read what I have done. I hope I will find some words to be kept. I will keep on pushing forwards.
The block I had on writing it is gone. Ha!
Sara Crowley 