I selected Joy Lanzendorfer’s excellent Flash piece “Sleep Disturbance” for publication at FLM & Joy was good enough to take part in this interview.
1) What is your default pub/bar drink?
A dry gin martini with a twist.
2) Do you have a poster/picture on your wall? Describe it.
Yes, I have this Onward poster by the fabulous illustrator Carson Ellis. I also have this ad for Valentine typewriters.
2) Bacon VS Tofu – who wins? Why?
Why? Have you tasted bacon?
3) What colour is Tuesday?
5) How do you stop procrastinating and get on with writing?
Turn off the Internet. It’s the only way.
6) Did you have an invisible friend when you were younger?
Yes, I had many invisible friends. I still do.
7) Who is your writer crush?
Currently it’s Anita Loos, who’s unfortunately dead, but still awesome.
8) What sandwiches would you make for a picnic with Curtis Sittenfeld?
Caprese with garden-grown tomatoes, thick slices of fresh mozzarella, pesto made with good olive oil, and crusty French bread.
9) What’s your favourite swear?
I like a good Fuck.
10) What was the last gift you gave to someone?
I gave my mom a Greek cookbook and a pair of moose earrings I bought in the Rocky Mountains.
11) Do you have a favourite pen?
Sort of. I like writing with black felt tip pens because they make bold marks but don’t bleed through the page. TheSchool Smart brand is great, and the pens are cheap, but I have to order them online because it’s surprisingly hard to find felt tip pens in the stores.
12) What word or words make you cringe?
Preggers. Delish. Vacay. The technological destruction of words like twitter, tweet, swipe, and googol. I’m also sick of words like privilege and triggering, which are good concepts but overused.
13) What was the last text you sent?
To my best friend: “Oregonians hike like they drive: lots of tailgating and reluctance to pass.”
I’m sorry, Oregon.
14) Crows. Discuss.
As you may be able to tell by Sleep Disturbance, I’m obsessed with crows. We have hundreds of them in our neighborhood, and all winter long, they mob in the sky and land in my neighbor’s tree. I like to sit on the porch swing and watch them.
15) What is your favourite smell?
16) What’s your most vivid childhood memory?
I don’t think I can quantify them that way.
17) What would you do if you were invisible for the day?
I guess find a scientist so they can research what the hell is going on with me.
18) Do you have any top tips for dealing with writing rejections?
Submit lots of work. Try not to get overly attached to any one project. The more spread out your work is, the easier it is to take rejection because you haven’t put all your hopes on one thing.
19) Who would play your character/s in the film of your story?
That would be a very strange film. I’m going to say Daniel Day-Lewis and Meryl Streep so it wins an Oscar.
That would be such a cool, arty short film.
20) Write a question for the next Smash List interview I do.
When did you last sing to yourself? What were you singing?