If you say “Where are your guide books?” with a Scottish accent it really does sound like “Where are your gay books?” And if you ask this question in Brighton, which is known as the gay capital of the UK, we will have a lot to show you.
Kazuo Ishiguro and Haruki Murakami are two different people. I know! Pesky similar sounding Japanese names, eh?
Shakespeare wrote plays. (He’s rather famous for it actually.) That’s why his writing can be found in our “Drama” section instead of “Classics.”
We have copies of the for-a-very-good-cause-and-containing-lots-of-excellent-writers-that-I “know” “100 stories for Haiti” on sale and appearing in my short story display case NOW!
WHOOOOOOSH is the sound of the gorgeous McSweeney’s 33 selling very swiftly (also in my short story display case, unless it’s gone already!)
Lookit:
Blooming irresistible if you ask me.
Sara Crowley 
And Scotch is a drink whereas Scottish is a nationality. Popular mistake to make.
Jim, I apologise to the peeps of Scotchland ; )(And I edited accordingly.)
I accept your apology on the condition that from now on you only ever refer to Scotch Eggs as Scottish Eggs and insist that this is their proper name. I don't know about Scottish icons such as The Crankies and Mel Gibson though. When they hear about this, you could be for the wicker man!
The odd thing of course is the fact that we refer to a certain kind of pie popular here as 'Scotch pies' when there is no alcohol involved whatsoever but then we call 'Scotch' 'whisky' anyway, without the extra 'e' used by the Irish. Language is perverse.
oooh, I quite fancy a Scotch egg now.