My first customer of the day walked around the counter, spotted the ‘gay fiction’ sign, and dragged his wife from the shop proclaiming that he wasn’t going to stay somewhere where they allow ‘filth like that.’
I knew it was going to be a grand day!
A woman approached me for a book written by someone with ‘A strange name. I’m not sure how it is pronounced but it is spelt C L A R E. Clar, perhaps, or Cla ray?’
‘Claire?’ I ventured, ‘Claire doesn’t have to be spelt with an I’
‘Yes, Claire, that’s it. Do you have a book by someone called Claire?’
‘Is that a surname, or first name?’
‘Right. Well we arrange our books alphabetically according to surname, do you have any more information? No? Oh!’
The fifty millionth customer asked me where we keep Shakespeare, and I told them his plays are…yup, you guessed, with the plays, not the classic novels. How come nobody knows that he wrote plays?
A woman asked for the Magic Bus series for children, and I misread the computer screen and thought there was one called ‘The Magic Bus explodes’. I thought it wouldn’t be that jolly! (It was The Magic Bus Explores)
My manager told me that with stock take coming up I need to clear out my reservations pile. I totted up how much money I’d need to buy my stash of books, and when I hit the £100 mark I figured I’d best put some back!