Did I fuck up the tense?

Back in November 2008 I had a tiny fiction published at Every Day Fiction. People can comment on the stories EDF put online and score them out of five. The Collector of Shiny has been up a fair while now and naturally comments tailed off after the first few days. Today though I got one:

I lurched to a halt after you couldn’t marry your tenses up – “I never once cookED him dinner or manageD to wash the dishes”
And so will any editor or reader. At least take the time to proofread your work. ugh.

So, firstly, hmm, that’s rude. He may well think I fucked up on the tenses but did he really need to give me an “ugh”? Oh well.

Secondly, shit, did I fuck up? Would anyone mind having a read and letting me know? It’s only a small piece.

The piece is present tense – it still reads right to me but I accept it may not be and it’d be useful to know.

Thirdly, wow, that was unnecessarily snarky eh? And shouldn’t that “ugh” have had a capital letter? Tee hee.

The Collector of Shiny

I have a tiny story up at Every Day Fiction, it’s called The Collector of Shiny, and is a rare attempt at a love story. It is customary on that site for people to vote/rate the stories, and perhaps leave a comment too, so if anyone feels so inclined that would be appreciated.