I’m chuffed that the very lovely Camroc Press review have published my flash “What’s Coming” today. And I just reread it and still like what I wrote. Imagine that. Please feel free to feed my fragile ego and tell me how much you like it. (Not even gonna put a winky face here.)
My brother sent me an email about a twunty colleague of his and I liked some of his lines so much I took ‘em and turned them into a flash which the lovely folk at The Pygmy Giant have just published. It was fun to try and write in my brother’s voice and shape it into a wee story; I just hope his workmate doesn’t happen upon it and recognise himself.
I’m so glad that Carys has taken part in Smash Lits. She wrote one of my favourite books of the year, “A Song For Issy Bradley” which has been widely praised and is now on the prestigious shortlist of the 2014 Costa First Book Prize. Yay Carys! Anyway, without further ado:
1) Ian is described as “Superman in a Burton suit” – who would you be?
That is such a good question – argh! I would be Bibliogirl in an origami dress.
Ooh, I love that!
2) Do you have any recurring dreams?
Yes, and they’re both horrible! One involves my teeth falling out and the other involves a school reunion and the sudden realisation that I’m not wearing enough clothes.
3) Have you ever seen a ghost?
No (and I don’t believe in them).
4) What’s your favourite sweet?
I love Thornton’s Viennese truffles, yum.
5) Who is your favourite Neighbours character?
I haven’t watched Neighbours for years. Erm, Libby Kennedy!
6) What’s your most vivid childhood memory?
I remember a whole school assembly in which I had to stand up and receive a dressing down for being late for school that morning. I absolutely wasn’t late – my mum was probably the most organised parent in the universe, I don’t think I was ever late for school – and I was only four. By that evening I was covered in hives and my mum was furious.
7) Do you believe human beings can spontaneously combust?
Not spontaneously, no.
8) What colour is Tuesday?
Oh, that’s easy, orange.
9) What is your favourite swear?
I didn’t swear for the first 30 years of my life because swearing was a sin, so I’m a late developer. I quite like near-miss swears, like twunt and nucking-futter.
I adore twunt, it’s such a satisfying word.
10) Tofu VS Bacon. Who wins? Why?
Bacon. The bacony smell is one of the best smells ever. In fact, I think they should make bacon perfume.
Carys, they do make bacon perfume – lookit.
11) What is the picture on your wall?
I have a picture of ruby slippers and ‘There’s no place like home.’
12) What was the last text you sent?
A text telling son 3 that no, I couldn’t bring his drum sticks and music book to school because I was on a train to Liverpool.
13) How do you organise your book shelves?
I used to organise them by colour but the kids teased me so much that I changed them and now I’ve got short stories in one place and novels/favourite novels, poetry etc. elsewhere.
14) Who would play the character of Claire in the film of your book?
Suranne Jones because she’s a great actress, she’s northern and I think she’d be brilliant at the harried/resigned combo.
15) You are wallpaper. What is your pattern?
Something flocked in red. My violin teacher used to have this amazing red, velvety wallpaper and I remember stroking it as I waited for my lesson to start.
16) Have you ever read someone else’s diary?
Yes. My mum has written in a diary every day since I was born and I sneaked a peek a few times when I was a teenager (I’m pretty sure she returned the favour, so it’s all good).
17) What is your most vivid childhood memory?
I think this is a trick question – it’s one of those memory tests to make sure I can remember the vivid childhood memory I described in answer to number 6!
18) What sandwiches would you make for a picnic with Margaret Atwood?
I did a little research (because who wouldn’t, if they were going on a picnic with Margaret Atwood) and discovered that she doesn’t answer questions about favourite foods, colours etc. because she has a hard time deciding favourites. I remember reading that she took the Veggie Vows during the tour of The Year of the Flood, so I’d do Greek salad wraps
19) What is your Book of the Year?
Probably All My Puny Sorrows, which I first read about on your blog!
It is stunning isn’t it. So glad you read about it here *chuffed*
20) What question should I have asked you?
I like the questions you asked. It was a relief not to be asked about novel 2 and Mormonism – thank you!
One of my favourite bookseller tasks is recommending books. It’s so cool to enthusiastically share thoughts on ace reads. Of course often people aren’t looking for something that chimes with my tastes, but that’s ok too. I pride myself on being able to match folk with the right books. The thing I find the hardest is when someone asks for a funny read. Humour is subjective and I am often unamused by things people appear to find hilarious. Most of the novels I read are not exactly happy and a request for a light, enjoyable read can stump me when it comes to thinking of something I have genuinely enjoyed. My oft favoured approach is, “This is very popular and is meant to be funny.”
“Dear Committee Members” actually had me laughing out loud, although, somewhat typically of things I admire, there is a darkness too. It’s an epistolary novel (which I’m not that fond of usually) composed entirely of letters of recommendation written by Jason Fitger, a jaded professor of creative writing at a small college in midwest America. His own novels have not brought him the success he once seemed likely to have, his marriage has failed, and he is languishing at the bottom of the college hierarchy. Nonetheless, colleagues and students endlessly request letters of recommendation from him and he turns these into a truly hilarious and bitter art-form.
“My colleague Franklin Kentrell has asked me to recommend him for a Galloway Foundation research and Travel Award. I would have quickly refused with a clear conscience except that Kentrell penned a Galloway recommendation for me a dozen years ago (I did not receive the award), and in his oily, sidewinding way, he trapped me in the corridor this morning, clutched the lapel of my jacket with his untrimmed nails, and suggested that “tit for tat was only fair.”
Kentrell will never survive round #1 in your deliberations; therefore, secure in the knowledge that this letter will soon join thousands of its brethren in a rolling bin destined for recycling— presumably before it is read—I am comfortable endorsing this application.”
His attempts to help his favourite student, a troubled and broke young man, and repair relations with his exes, add poignancy to the fun, and what at first seems a light read becomes something rather more.
(Thanks to Scott Pack for sending me a copy of this.)
Roxane Gay’s short fiction has appeared in many of the literary journals I’ve read over the last eight years or so. She’s editor of the mighty PANK. She writes a wonderful blog. Her non-fiction has appeared in many esteemed publications. She basically rules Twitter with her always interesting observations. She has a very clear, authoritative voice and I have long had a complete writer crush on her. Her collection of essays “Bad Feminist” has just been published in the UK. It’s currently number 13 in the New York Times non-fiction bestseller list. Roxane Gay is really successful now which is amazing and fabulous and so bloody well deserved.
A collection of her stories – “Ayiti” – was published in 2011 which I reviewed here. Interestingly the passage I quoted from “Things I Know About Fairytales” features in her debut novel “An Untamed State” which continues exploring the chasm in Haiti between the rich and poor and contrasts it with life in the US.
Mireille Duval James is a young woman from Haiti who lives in America. She is smart and feisty, an attorney married to an American man, Michael. They have a baby son, Christophe. Returning to Port-au-Prince to visit her wealthy, successful parents, Mireille, Michael and Christophe set off for the beach when their car is surrounded by a group of violent criminals who abduct Mireille, demanding a huge ransom. Her father, Sebastien, refuses to pay, believing that negotiating with the kidnappers can only endanger other members of his family.
Once upon a time, in a far-off land, I was kidnapped by a gang of fearless yet terrified young men with so much impossible hope beating inside their bodies it burned their very skin and strengthened their will right through their bones.
They held me captive for thirteen days.
They wanted to break me.
It was not personal.
I was not broken.
This is what I tell myself.
What follows is a difficult read. Gay’s powerful prose explores the brutality and violence that is inflicted upon Mireille day after day. I flinched from the words. This is not a book I could look forward to reading. It’s a depiction of a woman being abused in every way imaginable. The first part weaves stories from Mireille and Michael’s relationship with time from her imprisonment. It’s necessary to have the relief the memories of their courtship offer. The second part deals with the aftermath. How does a woman survive such atrocities? Tortured, gang raped, imprisoned, how can Mieille possibly move forwards?
It’s a novel about family: Mireille’s parents and the compromises her mother makes, her father, her sister, Michael’s parents, their son, Christophe. It’s also about personal endurance, self-preservation, the political implications of poverty, violence, domination, hope and courage. It’s an impossibly dark read. And very powerful.
When I finished reading I googled to find out more about Port-au-Prince and kidnapping. The UK government issues a warning that they will not negotiate with kidnappers believing, as Mireille’s father does, that it only increases the likelihood of more kidnaps. The BBC warn “No one is safe from kidnapping, regardless of occupation, nationality, race, gender, or age.”
“All My Puny Sorrows” (what an excellent title!) by Miriam Toews is an extraordinary book about two sisters (Elfrieda and Yoli) and their Mennonite family. It’s Yoli’s first person account of how Elf attempts suicide and begs for Yoli’s help to die. What makes it so special is how Toews takes this devastating material and manages to make it consistently witty, genuinely funny, and real. Her own sister committed suicide, as did their father. It’s as if Toews is reporting directly from the frontline of grief. She’s such a talented writer that she’s somehow managed to form this tragic raw material into an incredible novel.
It is full of so many great lines that I highlighted huge chunks of the book. From incidental throwaways such as this:
“I hope she doesn’t have an eating disorder. I’ve read that eating disorders are often the fault of overbearing mothers, but I’m so underbearing it’s not even funny. Maybe she’s imagined an overbearing mother to compensate for my lack of bearing and it’s this imaginary pushy mother that’s caused her to have an eating disorder. She doesn’t have an eating disorder, not really. I shouldn’t try to blame something that doesn’t even exist on an imagined imaginary mother.”
To criticisms of the medical staff on the psychiatric ward for their lack of attention to Elf as she refused to obey their directions:
“Nurses in cardio are far more playful and friendly than they are in psych.
If you have to end up in the hospital, try to focus all your pain in your heart rather than your head.”
Yoli always feels spot on. I imagine she’d be the best wise-cracking stoic friend a gal could have. How she and her mother endure is wonderfully life-affirming.
This is my book of the year. Yeah, already. I honestly doubt anything else can make me feel this way. From the perfect title, the perfect cover, to the perfect prose it’s all astonishingly good.
Read it! Read it! Read it!
1. What would your superhero power be?
Invisibility – I’d ruin David Cameron’s life with it.
2. You are wallpaper. What is your pattern?
No pattern. A dark hue.
3. What is your default pub drink?
Beer/red wine winter. Cider/larger/rose summer. Beer if I had one choice all year round.
4. Who would play Jon Michaels in the film of Vulgar Things?
I dunno. Don’t much like actors.
5. Bacon VS Tofu – who wins? Why?
Tofu. See below.
6. Have you ever had a nickname?
The rather unoriginal ‘Bacon’ at school (Rourke rhymes with Pork). And a few others.
7. Do flowers scream when you pick them?
No, they howl.
8. Who is your favourite Neighbours character?
Henry*. Was he called Henry? He had curly hair.
9. Would you rather be a bee or a wasp?
Bee. The noble Bee.
10. Did you have an invisible friend when you were younger?
No. I was jealous of people who said they did. Still am.
11. What did you do last Saturday night?
I was drinking good wine in France.
12. You hold a dinner party and can only invite writers. Who do you invite?
Writers are boring. It would be boring. I’d cancel.
13. What is your favourite sea?
The Thames Estuary.
14. What is your favourite swear?
Oh, all the Germanic ones.
15. Who is/was your unlikely crush?
Unrequited love’s a bore.
16. What colour is Tuesday?
Black. Like every other day of the week.
17. What makes the wind blow?
18. Do you have any recurring dreams?
No. Maybe. Dunno.
19. Will there still be books in the year 3,000?
No, don’t be silly.
20. What question should I have asked you?
My favourite colour. You forgot to ask me my favourite colour!
* He wasn’t really my favourite, just the only one I can remember apart from Kylie and Jason and Toadfish – all of whom I disliked.